Yesterday I met with Dr. M and my nurse before getting fluids in me. I am extremely weak and jaundiced, effects of my liver failing. There is one more treatment option, a chemo pill, which I will try. The family is hopeful, but realistic. I will begin Bridge to Hospice where nurses will come to my home a few times a week to check my vitals, which will eventually turn to full in-house hospice. Sadly we know where this is heading. Thank you all for your kind words and support these past few weeks, Mark, Michaela and Max have been reading all of them to me.
In addition to Bridge to Hospice we’ve taken a few other measures. Below is a photo of my DNI and DNR. My family had to have the conversation of how we approach the end of my life. We purchased cemetery plots a few weeks back and we are now in touch with the funeral home to make arrangements.
Thanks for being on this journey with me for the last five years, it’s been an adventure sharing my story and MBC with you all.
Susan… there are no words I can think of to make things right! my wish for you and your family is all the love and hope in the world!!! I have been following you and your blog for about Two years, I have been praying and sending love!! I was friends with your sister Cheryl, many years ago, i have been so hopeful for you and praying for you! I thank you for your honesty, your courage and your love. Peace and love to you my friend, 😘 and peace and love to your family! you will FOREVER be in my heart!!💕💕😘 Paula Boudreau Tobin…💕💕
Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone
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May your days be a celebration of a life well lived. As a fellow survivor, I have loved your attitude and perspective. I have a friend with MBC and you’ve helped me understand the challenges she faces.
God bless you.
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Thank you so much for sharing with us your journey. I am so grateful to be able to hear your story and can relate to a lot since going thru it with my sister. You have touched my heart and I thank you for that. Sending you my love and I promise to pray for you and your family.
Love, Peace and Prayers,
Deb
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Oh Susan & Family,
Your strength and candidness through this journey has been nothing but inspirational (often breathtaking). You were the friendly voice I needed to hear on the phone when I was at my worst. I am absolutely heartbroken at this news of course. You have left a legacy though of people you’ve touched and amazing children from what I gather from your posts and your daughter’s writing. They will do amazing things because of you!
The way you’ve loved each other and lived life to the fullest reminds us all of what life’s all about. I would love to help in any way if you ever need me. I’m right around the corner in Wrentham. You are a role model to me for the grace I hope to have as a mother if ever facing this again. 🙏🏻🙏🏻 All of my love and prayers. Xoxoxo
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Thank you for allowing all of us into your life’s story. It is a privilege. I pray your days are full of love and peace as you take things one day at a time.
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Peace and love to you and your family.
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So sorry to hear this. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
If you need anything please let me know.
Grace
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Susan,
I am so sorry to hear this. I want to thank you for sharing your journey with facts, grace and humor. I wish you and your family peace and strength during this time.
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Susan…my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You are a true inspiration…love and hugs
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Sending you love and loads of hugs. Praying for comfort and peace of mind.
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Susan, I don’t know you, but I found your blog so beautiful. (I was diagnosed with breast cancer three years ago….did surgery, radiation, chemo). Thank you for openly sharing your journey with MBC even to those of us you don’t know personally. I wish you the very best in this next chapter of your journey. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.
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I love you, Badass Mermaid – forever and ever! Thank you for your blog and inspiration ♡♡♡
Nicki
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I wish you peace at this most difficult time. My father passed from cancer so we knew what was coming and talked about feelings and death. It is never an easy time knowing you are leaving loved ones but he got to a point where he was ready and told us so. We all spent many beautiful times together in the last months of his life. I think it made it easier on us all. Bless you during this time.
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Susan, Thank you for bravely and honestly sharing your story. You are an inspiration to many. Praying that you and your family will be wrapped in love in the coming days.
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Dearest Susan,
I have followed your journey these past 5 years, always in awe of your grace, humility and wisdom in the face of daunting odds. Most of us humans will never influence so many lives in such a positive manner as you have in such a short time. I hope you find some solace in knowing you are loved, respected and cheered on by so many, even people you don’t know!
i believe that, although your time here in earthly form may be shortened, your energy never goes away and you will still be here for your family in other ways. Death is, after all, hardest on those left behind, isn’t it?
Much love to you, your family and friends, Susan, and may your Spirit find Peace, Love, and Joy on the other side when your time comes. (And may that be many, many years from now <3)
RD
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Susan….
I came across an article you’d written a couple of years ago, and from that article started following your blog. Your blog mesmerized me. I’ve known several people with cancer, have lost several friends from cancer, and lost both my father and father-in-law from this horrible disease. But I never took the time to see things through their perspective. I never took into account their daily struggles, their true feelings. And yet, I thought I did. Selfish me sees now that I didn’t. Thank you so very, very much for opening my eyes to this and for helping me deal with some things I thought I’d faced. You and your family have let the world into your lives during a very demanding, very harsh, very heartbreaking time in your lives and I will forever be grateful to you. And now facing the final outcome, I applaud your dignity, courage and above all grace. I send prayers of comfort to your beautiful children, for it will not be easy saying good-bye to a mother like you. I send prayers of courage for your husband, for he will face some days that seem to run on for ever. But most of all, I send you prayers for relief.. for you have fought a most valiant battle and I am humbled to have been witness to a beautiful story by a beautiful lady. I will never look at a mermaid again without seeing you. All my love…..Julie
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Susan,
Thank you for sharing your journey in a real & honest way. My prayers go up for you & your family. May all of you be comforted, cared for, and surrounded by love.
Lorraine Schratz
Franklin, MA
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Susan, thank you for your smiles, grace and courage you have so openly shared within this sisterhood (yes some brothers too). I met you at DFCI MBC workshop Oct 2017 after I was just dx that July with mets in bone marrow and bones (no prior bc history or dx) following 5yrs battling stg-4 lymphoma, it was your grace and smile that captured me that day and I’ve been your follower since. Please know your voice, stories and chapters on this journey have been so impactful for me to learn acceptance, transformation and how to evolve with each changing dx disease throws at us. I treasure knowing you and all I’ve found here that have shared what many can’t process unless walking our shoes. The hardest thing I faced this fall was hearing my current treatment wasn’t working and we’re now trying a chemo I can still have post all my lymphoma chemo treatments, knowing this conversation could be the beginning of learning that existing treatments might no longer work …so I reread many of your stories for hope and strength to regain my queen grace you so effortlessly shared with all. I can only thank you for your voice, advocacy and determination to stand strong within the DFCI medical community to help all learn more about metastatic disease, please know your impact will live within my breathe on this journey as we strive for improve research on mbc to help make this journey a bit easier for each newly dx warrior. Sending prayers of strength and warmth from our TampaBay home to you and your family, God bless all our families for strength, grace and smiles.💜🙏
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Susan you are one of the bravest person’s I know. You are an inspiration to everyone.We r sending you Mark,Michaela and Max much love. Cousins Ellen &Artie
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Sending you and your dear ones so much love, Susan. You’re in my thoughts.
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Dear Susan:
I’ve been following your blog for a couple of years and want you to know how much comfort you have been able to impart even as you have been going through the trials of Mbc. Your voice has been a mixture of gentle humor, acceptance of what can’t be changed, and joie de vivre whenever possible. My thoughts are with you and your family. We never met but you have given me a lot. Giving love and peace back to you now.
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Susan i was sad to hear about hospice i have never seen a braver, prouder, stronger and caring person than you Drew my husband just had a stroke cant eat talk or walk for now dont know what the outcome will be you never know what life is going to bring us. we must go on. Im sure you are so proud of your wonderful children and they will carry you legacy and your kindness with them.. im bawling as im writing this through my tears im smiling at all the wonderful memories we have!!!! love you!!!
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