As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed people reach a certain age and want to stop acknowledging their birthday because it indicates they’re getting older. But, I’ll tell you what, it’s a privilege denied to many. Birthdays are special and everyone should celebrate being a year older. Having a birthday means I’m alive and that makes me happy.
For the last 5 years while having MBC my husband, Mark, has offered to throw me a birthday party, with a special one when I turned 50! I always enjoy celebrating with family and friends, but this past February I decided I didn’t want a party this year. Why? Well, I became superstitious.
I realized after each party, I had scans within the following weeks. They always came back with the cancer progressing! The coincidence that my health always took a decline after a birthday party led to my concern that if I had a party this year, my health would decline. So this year there was no cake, food, drinks, music or trivia.
So, after not having a party this year, did my health decline? Well, it’s a little confusing. My scans looked good, but I felt awful. I was suffering from severe fatigue and weakness, terrible pain in my legs, no appetite, and a slight rash. I’m not sure what to think about not having a birthday party. If I had one would the scans have showed progression? But even with no progression in my body, the way I was feeling was declining due to the side effects from my treatment.
I had scans again last week and for the most part they looked good with the exception of one lesion on my liver which has more than doubled in size. Dr. M decided to take me off my treatment due to the lesion growing and terrible side effects. I’m relieved.
Next up will be a clinical trial for me. This one is a phase 1 clinical trial going on at Dana Farber and Mass General Hospital. This trial consist of two medications. The first is Ribociclib: a hormonal-based therapy, FDA approved, and comes in pill form. The other medication is PDR001: an antibody. PDR001 is not FDA approved and is being tested to see if it will allow the body’s immune system to work against tumor cells. This is known as immunotherapy. This treatment will be done through infusion.
I feel very fortunate to be at Dana Farber with access to clinical trials and I am thrilled that I received the one slot left to participate in this clinical trial. I’m also a bit nervous due to potential side effects, but I am hoping for a positive outcome!
So the question remains, will I have a birthday party in 2019? I’ll let you know next year.